Dating feel like updating land cover maps satellite images
If the whole “warping female minds with super hot models” theory were true, you’d expect all women (straight and lesbian) to have body image issues, and all men to feel super fab.But, instead what we see, is that people who sleep with men tend to feel worse about how they look than people who sleep with women." SO, those of us who sleep with men are absorbing the shame they hold about their own sexuality."Dating men again and talking to them about their sexual feelings has exposed some spooky shit that I never noticed before ...“Creepy” is a word that comes up a lot when I’m having an honest discussion with men about their feelings on their sexualities.If a man doesn’t get horny, this is also the fault of his partner for not being hot enough.For the “not my fault” narrative to hold, when a man has a long day at work, if he’s tired, or sick, or whatever and doesn’t get turned on, it can’t be his mood that’s affecting his desire, it must also be the fault of his partner.After all, if beauty is enough to absolve him of responsibility in the positive case, it must also absolve him in the negative case.
For the first time in years, I find myself feeling ugly." You see, what is most fascinating about Lindsay is her perspective, she has been in several serious relationships with BOTH men AND women.Like, that any man who is with me is only settling because he can’t get what he really wants. yeah, I think shame really covers it." I think after reading Lindsay's article, I no longer feel quick to wrap my feelings of insecurity into a a neat or overused explanation that we've all heard a million times.Furthermore, I found it fascinating after reading Lindsay write, "I had a quick chat with a feminist friend of mine, and she said “ugh, fucking men and porn ruins everything.” And like…I’m wired to find tiny women attractive, when one crosses my path I get turned on. But being attracted to someone outside of your “type” breaks this identity a bit.I think he brought up skinny girls a few times because getting turned on by a not so skinny girl was giving him feelings of shame/creepiness and he was looking to mitigate those feelings by reinforcing the narrative and identity that had absolved him of those feelings before.